Wednesday, May 20, 2009, 5/20/2009 06:45:00 pm
ily,m
i don't know how t start this post.
i don't want you to be sick.
i don't want you to really leave for good.
i don't want you to leave me alone.
I'm sorry i didn't turn out the way you wanted me to.
I'm sorry i didn't do the things you wanted me to.
I'm sorry for all that i have said and done to hurt you.
please be well again. please. i really don't want to see your condition worsen.
when you called for me to speak to you, you sounded as if those were your last words for me.
i don't want them to be, tell me they're not..
please be alright. i don't know what to do to make things better for you. but i'll do anything to see you fine.
i miss the way you used to be, now you're too weak to even speak much.
why is all this happening? i haven't even had the time to make up for my wrongs.
please get well, please pull through.
i know i've been complaining about how upset i am with you.
but i didn't see how important you were till now.
i knew that our family was the most important to me.
but i didn't realise how much i relied on you.
i always thought i could be on my own, independent, taking care of myself.
but now i know i need you.
i need you to tell me what to do and what not to.
i need you to tell me where i went wrong.
&i need you to be there and care for me.
please tell me I'm just thinking too much like you always do.
please let things be the way they were.
i love you, mommy.
with all my love,
Gerbera.